Tag Archives: Art

Top 14 Clichés we hate – (Doctor Dee and Me Talk About Movies and TV part 18)

13 Aug

So this is the first episode after Top 10 Changes to Doctor Dee n Me Talk about Movies & TV. Lets see how many of the changes we broke in the very next episode.

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The list:
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#1: Anyone can die -trope (mostly TV and serials)
#2: Women beating men with ease (when there should be no reason as to why)
#3: Angry (and often loudmouthed) black guy.
#4: Comic relief characters
#5: Forced or tagged on romances
#6: Unresolved plots or premisses (TV)
#7: Dust villains 32:40
#8: Framestories or telling the story backwards
#9: Keeping something a secret so the villain can get the upper hand.
#10: Killing henchmen to show they mean business.
#11: Mixing up the narrative and point of view to make it unclear what is real or not.
#12: Missunderstood anti-hero (he is just damaged)
#13: Creepy girls (or children) in horrormovies
#14: Secrets being told without any real precautions.

Blog 2.0 – You suck!

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Top 10 Changes to Doctor Dee n Me Talk about Movies & TV- Part 17

21 Jul

The changes are:
1) Understand and appeal to the biggest and broadest YouTube demographic.

2) Make it clear we are atheist and liberal

3) Make a lot of top 10 lists

4) Always talk about what is trending NOW.

5) Be cynical, critical and patronizing about other peoples work.

6) We are gonna add laugh track to make it easy to understand when we are funny.

7) Lots and lots of jokes based on cultural references of current pop-culture.

8) Name our videos strategically and make grimaces on every thumbnail.

9) Have lots of wikipedia and IMDb facts/ data so we seem like we know what we are talking about.

10) No videos should last more than 10 min

Blog 2.0 – Top 10!

Alien3 (1992) – The Alien Franchise talk (Doctor Dee n Me Talk about movies & TV Part 11)

27 Mar

Soooo…

Alien3 is hated by many, here is our drunken defence of Alien3.

 

….

We also make fun of the Anyone can die trope that is so popular now. Especially in Game of Thrones and Walking dead. But other shows has it to… especially that Alien invasion show… Falling Skies? But its not as annoying as in Game of Thrones and Walking dead.

Bruised ring

Blog 2.0 – Come on, mo fo, everybody has to die.

Alien (1979) – The Alien Franchise talk (Doctor Dee n Me Talk about movies & TV Part 6)

17 Mar

A new series of Doctor Dee n Me Talk about movies & TV Part 6 is uploaded to utub and its grrrreat. This time we are talking about the alien franchise in preparation for Alien: Covenant (2017). In this first episode we talk about Alien (1978)


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Enjoy

 

Bruised ring

Blog 2.0 – Takes away the excitement.

Lets Play Resident Evil Revelation 2: Raid mode (while reading and talking about poetry)

23 Jan

I am an artist and so when I make let´s play I try to be artsy-fartsy. Not just make funny noises. This one is a good example of this. I read poetry. First famous poets, then my own poems.

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The question is… Am I good poet? I dont know. I think some of them are good. You decide.

spilling eros

Blog 2.0 3D – ArtsyAce83

Anywhere but here.

15 Jan

I tried to read you.
The book was closed.
I judge you by the cover.
Had I a choice?

Cold surface.
Hot innside.
This time forever.
Bye, bye.

Fun playing with gender roles!

Blog 2.0 – Its art.

Errant Signal – Pompous, Patronizing & PC

21 Oct

I keep coming back to this channel on youtube. I don´t subscribe to it, but every so often I have to go back to it to see what has been uploaded. The channel is called Errant Signal and I am attracted to it for its pompousness, its thick layers of smugness, and its highly leftwing ideologies used as tools for analyzing games.

Its a study in academic narcissism. You can write down all kinds of patronising nuggets from every video he makes. I just need my fix sometimes. It bugles my mind. Its like a riddle. Why does he make it? Why do people watch? Its like with Anita Sarkeesian. The question becomes: Why do people dedicate their lives to something they hate?

And he does hate games. He would probably say; “I don´t hate games. I just want to be critical and analytical about it”. And I get that. Being critical and analytical and trying to understand art in all its forms is important to understand humanity and who we are. But being critical is not the same as being negative. You can address issues, themes and ideas without saying its bad.

Take this last one I saw of him titled Errant Signal – SimCity 2013 Part 2


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It´s just a perfect example of his attitude and views. In this video he talks about the game Sim City 2013. A game I have never played. Reasons being that I never felt the need. I loved playing SimCity 2000, and I bought SimCity 3000, but found that game to be to plastic-y and strange for my taste and so I never wanted to play any newer ones. Its also a EA game and EA games feels cold and “by the numbers” at times. I can´t remember playing any games by that company that I have loved.

But what does Errant Signal say about SimCity 2013? Let´s look for some nuggets of pure elitism he wants to share. He says “Last time we talked; we sort of broke down how SimCity maaaaaaybe doesnt work from a game system perspective”. “Broke down”? “Game system perspective”?. That is the first line of the video. It really sets us in the mood for what is in store.

Now if you excuse me for being abit narcissistic myself; I am smart. I know, its sickening to read, but there is a point here. I am smart, and one of the privliges of knowing this is that you are not afraid of being seen as stupid.

I can say “I dont understand this” and if people smirk and laugh at me for saying that I will ignore them. I do not need to be seen as smart, cuz I know I am. I will therefor take on the douche cap ones again and say: What the hell are you talking about Errant Signal? You broke down the game? You found flaws in the game system?

What he of course means is that he looked at the different sides of the game and found things he viewed as flaws. But he takes on those nice words to seem smart.

Having a good vocabulary is… well… good. Or great. Or nice. Or superb. Or favourable. There is nothing wrong with knowing big words, but when used excessively (eh? Eh?) it just seems vain and stupid. At least to me.

But let´s press trough this digression and see what he really says about SimCity 2013 beyond his vocabulary mastrobation.

Errant Signal says that the gametries to do a lot of things, but non of it very successfully or with a sense of focus.” That is his complaint. I do not know the validly of this claim. If you have played the game, please share your opinion below.

Errant Signal then says: “This time we are gonna talk about how SimCity 2013 approaches its subject. What does Sim City think of cities? What does it do with this BIG [!] simulation its build?”

He then goes on about a game called Skyline and how that game, to him, is so much better cuz it focuses on “the process of growth is based on physical space and legislative action[…] [Skyline] has build up its own little niche in the city building simulator pantheon” aka governmental control, where as older SimCity games focuses on “the demand of jobs, labour and goods drive growth” aka. Capitalism. The latter is of course bad data for Errant Signal.

But there are more gems to be taken out of this video. Like this little piece of revealing idiocy: “Both games problematically fetishise growth.” What can I say? Its mind boggling. Especially since SimCity is called SimCITY. CITY! Meaning “a large and permanent human settlement.” (wikipedia). Large! The Sim franchise even has a spin-off called “SimTown” for people like him and if that isnt small enough for his small mind (sorry, but that guy makes me sick) he could play SimTower and if that didnt have the right political message he could play SimEarth for the right eco-friendly narrative. But no. Every game has to be correct or it is faulty. Bad data.

Errant Signal hates games (and probably art in general too).

Let me show you, trough this video, why I say he hates games. As that is what I mainly claim he does ,as so many other critiques on the interweb. Let me show you by excerpt of the distain he has for the concept and ideas about games being fun, entertaining without clear political messages that he likes.

As he is halfway trough ditching SimCity 2013 about how bad it is when it comes to showing how the state can interfere in social and cultural areas that is so important to him (I am sure he wish that SimCity 2013 should have “Allow gay marriage” option and if one chooses not to, then entire city burns to the grown. That has the right message, doesnt it ErrantSignal?) and how he don´t want a game that has a goal of “big city” but something other, unspecified goal.

After this he asks the question:Why was SimCity 2013 made?”. An interesting question. I sometimes wonder the same thing about lots of things. One could even ask the question about Errans Signal´s video project itself. Reasons for doing and creating is always a subject I like to think about. Let´s see how Errant Signal dissect, deconstruct or “ brakes down” this subject.

The reason why SimCity 2013 was made is *drum wirral* “To do stuff”.

Its a content delivery system”, he says. “A game as content-delivery system”, he continues. He then mentions Guitar Hero, Rock Band and Assassins Creed as games that makes you do stuff. Mind blowing, huh? A game that gives you tasks? How about that?

Let me just quote him on this:Games like Rock Band and Guitar Hero popularised the idea that games were made primarily to sell [Andy´s Edit: Yes, no games before that was made to sell] or experience specific content [Andy´s Edit: WHAT? Games have specific content? HOW DARE THEY!].”

Do you see why I find his videos so interesting? Its like he is some kind of extraterrestrial, experiencing games for the first time, trying to make sense of something and failing miserable. It´s like he doesnt get games, but he know he hates them.

I bet that if he analysed a screensaver of the colour changing fog type, he would love that as a game. “It doesnt force me to do anything, the goal is vague, and it was free as it came with the computer and the colours mixing is a great metaphors for diversity. And no DLC´s!”

I am just so fascinated by people like Errant Signal, Anita Sarkeesian and the like cuz they do not understand anything, but they sure like to talk. The only way they know how to appreciate art is to hate it. To tell us how its bad and faulty. They seem to have this ideal in their head, but seldom to never really mentions any games (or music or books) even close to this ideal of theirs.

His complete lack of understanding and appreciation of art is so ridiculous and extreme at times it becomes art itself. To put it in a clisje: He just doesnt see the forrest for all the wood. He is the kind of guy who would read Brave New World and say “Finally someone writes a book about a beautiful utopia” cuz he lacks the meta-cognition (I know big words as well) to see himself in his relation to the art. He is “objective”, he thinks, but what he really is, is cold, distant, even hateful and completely oblivious to what art is.

A game that has “all this STUFF it wants you to experience” and “gamefize” is what a game is! Its like complaining that music has rhythm or movies have moving pictures. It is what it is. If you do not like it, you just have to stop participating in it. Again, he seems to want screensaver games. Simplistic, non-interactive and lecturing us on important Social Justice issues.

I first discovered ErrantSignal in what I would call his defining youtube video. It´s called “Errant Signal – “Keep Your Politics Out of my Video Games” ”I´ll post it here—>


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In it he says, like Sarkeesian, and like most nutjobs (sorry, but I have to say it), that politics in not just a perspective one can have on art, but the most important one.

I think we can analyse art for political views, but weigh its worth on how close to representing a political ideology it is unjust. When we talk about movies, games or books with “bad female representation”, or “bad gay characters” or whatever, instead of saying “this movie/game/book is bad” ask the questions: How does it make you feel and why? That is the interesting aspect of art. The feelings and questions it may wake in us.

That is why I love ErrantSignal. Cuz he evokes feelings of irritation and perplections in me and makes me ask the questions: Why does someone who do not like art, or understand art, say so much about art and why do I keep watching his videos when all I feel is annoyed?

I love video games, I love movies, music, books. I do not dedicate my life to tell people how much I hate bad music, movies and books. In fact I applaud bad text cuz it tells me I can do better (although… that is often a lie ;-).

Blog 2.0 -  Often a lie!

Blog 2.0 – Often a lie!

Prometheus (2011) – A prequel for a sequel

15 Mar

“ There’s a man sitting with you today. His name is David. And he is the closest thing to a son I will ever have. Unfortunately, he is not human. He will never grow old and he will never die. And yet he is unable to appreciate these remarkable gifts for that would require the one thing that David will never have. A soul.”

– Peter Weyland ,Prometheus (2011)

Where someone sees plot holes, other see mystery. In Prometheus (2011) I saw both.

So now, when Prometheus 2 has been announced, and time has passed from the first film, I want to reflect on the movie´s good sides and bad sides. Of all movies I have seen, I think Prometheus is one of the movies I have been most ambivalent about. I kind of love it and I kind of hate it. The reasons, as with the meaning of this film, I will reflect on now.

PrometousIntroPic

I expect that the reader of this entry have already watched the movie as I will talk about spoilers. Also this is more of an analysis of the movie and not a “review” where I value it by giving thumps up or down. You can decide that yourself.

Also if you are thinking; “Its just a movie” I refer you to some weed smoking, the hand book “Being a dullard for dummies” and will beg you please not to talk to me again.

My expectations:

This is the Space Jokey as seen in the movie Alien from 1979. Although a very small piece of the original movie it created alot of mystery about it and fans have speculated loudly about what it was and what it did out in space.

This is the Space Jokey as seen in the movie Alien from 1979. Although a very small piece of the original movie it created alot of mystery about it and fans have speculated loudly about what it was and what it did out in space.

I remember when I heard that Ridley Scott was going to make a prequel to Alien (1979) where the genesis of the “Space Jokey” was going to be explored. It blew my mind. This very alien thing, that played a very minor role in the original Alien movie, has fascinated many and been inspiration for many sci-fi nerds like me to speculate as to what it exactly was and what it was doing on that dead planet. I waited with great anticipation in a way I havent done since christmas as a child. The POSSIBILITIES!!! The endless possibilities!

Then came the trailer for the movie and it blew my mind again.


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Look at that great trailer!They came looking for our beginning, what they found could be our end.” The tag line still gives me goosebumps and the trailer is still awesome. When the movie got released I refused to read anything about the movie and went on the premiere alone to watch this movie. I never go to the movies alone, but I just had to watch it! I couldn’t wait a day for any friends to be able.

My initial response:

Big Questions

Big Questions

After watching the movie I felt I had watched a great extension of the alien franchise. I knew it would not be another alien movie and didnt expect more of it and what I got had just the right dose of xenomorphs-ishness to make me feel it was a spin-off and not a completely new movie series.

I loved the BIG questions the movie had asked. I loved how they treated religion and science. The character of Elizabeth Shaw is a sympathetic representation of at least how I as a Christian view sciences. And like most good movies it kept lingering on in my mind for days after watching it. I kept thinking about the different ideas it had presented and how the movie´s plot had developed.

But…

It wasnt all that good, was it? Although when I walked out of the cinema I was very impressed, for the next days my pondering turned into nagging. The flaws I may have ignored at first became more and more apparent. This movie wasn’t very good. In fact it was kind of awful!

My secondary response:

Good or bad? I just don´t know. Pretty though. No doubt of that.

Good or bad? I just don´t know. Pretty though. No doubt of that.

As the days went passed I did something I hadn´t done in a long while. I started using my IMDB account again and started to read the Prometheus threads there. Reading the different views and trying to understand what to make of this movie. Was it a good movie or was it downright awful? I just couldn’t make up my mind.

Soo I watched the movie again when it came out on DVD and yet again I am not sure. I have not yet watched the extended cut of the movie (where “all questions would be answered”) although I have seen some of the scenes on youtube. Its been 3 years since the movie came out and I am still not sure what to make of it.

The plot:

A holograpic point presentation. Anything else is soooo... 2050.

A holograpic point presentation. Anything else is soooo… 2050.

Prometheus tells the story of a crew of scientist who travel to a distant planet after discovering clues and signs in different locations of earth all pointing towards that particular set of plantes. Their theory is that the planet they are going to will answer the biggest question of all: Why are we here?

As the story progresses the crew realizes that they were not prepared for what they could meet and different interest by different characters slowly sabotages the expedition leading to a big showdown where reasons and motivations are left ambiguous. The very end leaves most of the crew dead, answers left unexplained, problems left unresolved and Elizabeth Shaw leaving the planet with the android David to find another planet (and another sequel) where answers may or may not be given.

The Good sides to this movie:

It dares to ask questions!”, as Randy Marsh from South Park may have said. This movie, although not the first movie in history, ask the question “why are we here?”. The questions that arrises about creation or abiogenesis (from dead to alive).

To quote the character Peter Weyland from the movie

“ I have spent my entire lifetime contemplating the questions: Where do we come from? What is our purpose? What happens when we die? And I have finally found two people who convinced me they’re on the verge of answering them.

Which Star Trek episode is this from?

Which Star Trek episode is this from?

Big question and Prometheus uses the fringe theory of Ancient Astronauts as a way to explore and play around with this problems. The ancient astronauts in Prometheus are the “space jokey” men who it is implied came to earth and created us for some reason left unexplained in the movie.

This question is so big that any clear explanation will often be seen as too on the nose. I guess the blue men could have said “We created you to take care of the environment!” or “To love each other!” or some other simplistic view like that, but fortunately they leave that vague. Unfortunately they leave it so vague that we are not even given clues and food for thought. But complaints come later.

Reasonable faith

Prometheus also explores the relationship between religion and science. This mostly through the christian character Elizabeth Shaw, which I think is one of the more interesting aspects of the movie. The dialogue is not filled with ridicule of people believing in mythology and still does not seem anti-science either. My interpretation of this, is that it shares the same view as me, that one thing does not negate an other and all roads may lead to the truth as long as we keep seeking the truth and keep believing there is such things as the “truth”.

There is also many ways of interpreting “God” in this movie. God as in a ultimate “God” of beginning and end. He is only mentioned as the Christian God through Elizabeth Shaw, but could of course be any kind of ultimate being. Then it is the gods of creation, which is the blue men for humans, and humans for androids and everyone seems to hate each other.

The question is if the blue men have again been created by the some entity in the sphere seen at the beginning of the film or if that is just another space craft for the “space jokeys” and that they have spontaneously been created trough random events.

Most of the movie is us interpreting the characters motivations and listening to them interpret the aliens motivations. And the entire movie is like mixed bag of stupidity and brilliance. Like the extraordinary interesting dialogue between David and the bi-polar (?) scientist Charlie Holloway.

Charlie Holloway: What we hoped to achieve was to meet our makers. To get answers. Why they even made us in the first place.

David (an android): Why do you think your people made me?

Charlie Holloway: We made you because we could.

David: Can you imagine how disappointing it would be for you to hear the same thing from your creator?

"Why are we here?", Scott asks us. "To have painful abortions of alien creatures of course", he quickly continues.

“Why are we here?”, Scott asks us. “To have painful abortions of alien creatures of course”, he quickly continues.

Then David tries to “impregnate” Charlie in the same scene, and the grotesque aftermath of that. It feels more like body-horror shock piece than anything. The problem then is that Ridley Scott doesnt seem to know wether to make a philosophical piece about why we are here or to make another Alien movie with zombies and alien squids. These things come in contrast throughout the movie as its not scary enough to be a new alien and its not deep enough to be really good sci-fi adventure. It is somewhat entertaining though. The squid thing is nasty and the abortion scene couldnt be more disturbing.

The plot holes and the mysteries.

I have never been much for a nitpicker, although I have noticed that many people online likes to do nothing but. To point out any work of arts flaws, be it how Mona Lisa smiles or how ridiculously strong Jason Vorhees is, seem to be a great past time for some.

I guess it makes them feel better about themselves? Idunno. Myself, I try to watch a movie and accept premises of a movie if it is coherent with the story being told. Nitpicking, like being a grammar nazi, distract us from the point; The message, the meaning and the ideas that art and entertainment tries to give.

In Prometheus there are things I can accept and thing that I can´t. Somethings I agree with the criticism of and something I do not.

Alien Parasite in my eye? No worries and doctor needed.

Alien Parasite in my eye? No worries or doctor needed.

Take for instance how the planet was discovered in the beginning of the movie. A bunch of cavepaintings having the same stellar alignments and iconography. This I can accept. Of course it could have been elaborated on a bit, I guess, but how they got there is not the focus of the film. I can accept the premise of ancient civilizations having great knowledge of space as I can accept that the maya calendar ending means the world is ending or ancient astronauts creating us. Its an idea. Its a “what if”? Prometheus isnt and wasnt suppose to be a documentary. But a work of art or entertainment.

Alien controls kind of look like a child´s toy.

Alien controls kind of look like a child´s toy.

Some people seem to think that art should be slave to a sense of realness, but art isnt bound by rigorous logic (although coherent plot is nice) and sci-fi isnt science. Fiction is speculation, dreams and ideas, free from the shackles of what is. Like a unicorn is not a horse, or a goldmountain has yet to be discovered. They are concepts meant for food for thought, not dissecting for how much in sync it is with contemporary knowledge.

Good sci-fi ask questions that can´t be answered and tries to look beyond the curve of what we now know. Its not a tool for education as some seem to believe. Its about plausibility, not facts. And I for one, can accept the idea in this film that ancient cultures knew something that they could only explain trough mythology and signs.

Another thing that has been criticized is how the alien holograms look like. Even I found that stupid. On rewatching the movie now it appears to me that it may not be holograms at all but “particalogram”. They seem to be partially physical. They cause wind to rush and can press buttons. That isnt stupid, that is brilliant.

Many things in this movie can be both seen as plot-holes or mysteries. Stuff left unexplained for us to pounder on. This especially comes to the motivation of certain characters like David, Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron) etc. But other things, especially outcomes of certain events and natural human responses to threat seem often far fetched and/or annoying.

"Remember me as a mysterious woman who had daddy issues!"

“Remember me as a mysterious woman who had daddy issues!”

One thing especially that annoyed me was the “mysterious” Meredith Vickers who walks in the shadows and just observes everything. Then when push comes to shove they crush her by the spaceship cuz the movie needs to end and no character can live cuz that would be a loose thread.

If I were a Prometheus apologetic I could perhaps argue that the character was established as a very calculated woman who always thought more about her own safety and gain than other people and that when one unforeseen thing happened she got killed. But this is not thoroughly explored before hand, and the “mystery” of this character is not either thoroughly explained as no real pay-off was told. So when she finally get crushed at the end it just feels anti-climatic and pointless.

This scene was interesting. I kept wondering if it was all a big misunderstanding or if the alien got angry that humans had created life as well or if it was just fear of the pandemic.

This scene was interesting. I kept wondering if it was all a big misunderstanding or if the alien got angry that humans had created life as well or if it was just fear of the pandemic.

The same goes with Peter Weyland who also gets killed off rather fast and anti-climatic. This scene is arguably better though cuz it leaves the question of the Space-jockeys view and relationship to us unclear but clearly threatening. But two mysterious characters being killed off, without any real interesting pay-off by any of them makes some parts of Prometheus a real slap in the face.

Its fine to leave questions open, and its fine to have mystery, but then you can´t kill the characters off, as that ends the mystery. Death is the end, also to plot.

Some mysteries are also solved too quickly, as they seem to be just a nuisance for getting the plot along. David discovers and uncover stuff quickly for no reason. It seems that the “space-jokey” technology is fool proof and pressing random buttons makes everything work. Yes, David is an android and is very smart, but pressing random buttons and trial and error does demand SOME error.

And the Darwin award for 2093 goes to: Stupid guy who think he can pet strange alien thing.

And the Darwin award for 2093 goes to: Stupid guy who think he can pet strange alien thing.

Then it is the scenes with the crew members lost behind on the alien station that discover a pile of dead aliens and gets report of “something alive” only to get killed off while the captain was off with Theron, and no other crew member seemed to give a damn either. It just get so frustratingly annoying and stupid.

All in all Prometheus balances between what can be accepted in suspension of disbelief and then threads over with gusto. Its just too many big and small stupidities, many of them pointed out other places on the interweb. And when mystery is mixed with stupidity one tends to stop wondering cuz the answer may be just as dumb as some of these characters and events.

Peter Weyland: There's nothing. David: I Know. Have a good journey, Mr. Weyland.

Peter Weyland: There’s nothing.
David: I Know. Have a good journey, Mr. Weyland.

Prometheus II – Burnt child fears fire.

Like a burnt child, I fear to look forward to Prometheus II, but I do have dreams. I dream that Ridley Scott acknowledges that Prometheus had many flaws and tries to correct them somewhat in the sequel by some magic trick. I do not know how and its a feat I do not even think he has. How can one retcon so many flaws? Well, if its not going to correct the flaws of the first one, at least I hope it will not make so many more.

I still am looking forward to Prometheus II, cuz I am more like a burnt child with teaching disabilities.

Blog 2.0 - Not 4 Dullards

Blog 2.0 – Not 4 Dullards

Dullard for dummies have a special chapter on pointing out spelling and grammar mistakes when you have nothing to add to the argument.

Dullard for dummies have a special chapter on pointing out spelling and grammar errors when you have nothing to add to the argument. Also there is a chapter called: “TL;DR- Best comeback ever!

Something happened the other day (There but by the grace of God )

18 May

A short story by AndyAce83

I was at the train station, a place used many times as a symbol of life changing choices. Sort of like a wheel turning or an arrow pointing in a direction or a comet in the sky. Not to say that there are any symbols in real life. «A=A», and that’s that. There shouldn’t be any meaning beyond the direct and observable. At least that’s what I had heard, learned and understood.

So I was at this train station waiting for a friend to arrive, but he was an half hour late. So I had time to myself where I could let my mind wander. I had taken shelter from the cold of the fall in a kiosk and satt on one of the benches placed there for people waiting for trains where I had a perfect view of the newspaper stand and all the news of Norway. There where lots of celebrities having problems that day, I recall. Lots of them talking to us mortals about their problems coping with success and the horror that may be.

So I was at this kiosk at a train station waiting for a friend while reading the covers of the newspapers when a lady enters. She was probably also looking for a shelter from the cold, and as she enters a fascination smell came along with her. The smell of death, the smell of urine, the smell of something that got hit by a bus, then died, then expelled bodily fluids, then resurrected and now wanting to feel the heat of civilized society. It was the smell of this woman.

The woman was between the ages of 30 and 60. It’s really hard to tell the ages of a druggydrunk, as she obviously was, but I would guess her age in that area. She stumbled around in this kiosk, not seeming to know where she was, and after taking a few slow laps around she decided to enter the toilet.

Now, I have to be honest; I can be a cynical and prejudice person, and I felt that she was now planing to take some drugs in there. I won’t say that my suspicion was confirmed, but she exited the toilet quickly when she saw the blue light coming from within.

It was time for a couple of lapses around the kiosk again for her, while I looked at her and everywhere else my eyes could rest. Not wanting to be a voyeur or some other pervert like that I also looked at the clock, the newspapers again, my mobile phone, the clerk in the kiosk, other people in the shop etc. But the woman between the ages of 30 and 60 was what my eyes where drawn to. She had a fascinating face, and a fascinating way of dressing. Her face was drawn, her eyes distant and unfocused, her clothes wet from what had to be rain from hours ago and unpolished make-up. The mascara was running down, and seemed to be better removed than retouched and her hair was clogged and thick with what my imagination would guess was dirt. And that smell…


She had finished her lapses and decided to have a sit down and of course that sit down was close to me. I have always thought of my appearance as kind, earth like and loving. That is why I think she sat down beside me, because I looked like a person who would and could care about her misfortune. I didn’t dare to stare, but I had my glances and when our eyes met I tried to smile to her. Not the kind of smile that had dollars in it, not the seller smile, nor was it a smile that was happy in any way. It was a smile I like to define as a sad smile, where I acknowledged her pain, but tried to say that perhaps there are still hope. Perhaps Richard Dawkins and his friends were wrong, that there is a plan and a meaning to all pain that we just don’t understand yet. I hoped she received and understood that that was what I was trying to express in my smile.

So I was at the train station waiting for a friend with a druggydrunk who smelled of piss only a few feet away. She looked slanted and worn, sick and cold and her nose was running. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t know how. A wonder grew in me of how this person could be so depressing in the land of Norway. The Utopia of the North! How could our loving welfare system let her be so in pain, while we seemed to cry for everyone else? The old, the immigrants, the young, the sick, but no one cared for her. WHY WASN’T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING?! And what could I do? I wasn’t a powerful or even a resourceful person, but I wanted to ease her pain that so clearly came to me through her sniffing, body posture and smell. I had by now taken my scarf from around my neck and tried to discreetly pressed against my nose to save me from her smell, and save her from embarrassment. She really had a horrible smell. We are taking about a urine smell that was not freshly pissed. It was like vinegar, and it’s acid smell burned my nose.

So I was at the train station waiting for a friend with a druggydrunk who smelled of piss only a few feet away while I had my nose covered with a scarf while trying to give her a smile of ease when the lady leaned towards me. She was going to ask me something and that question was

«Do you have a cigarette?»

I could have been insulted by that question because smoking is dangerous, and did I really look like a smoker? With all the associations that came with such a claim? Did I look older than my age, with sickly white skin and yellow teeth? Who was she to say that I was the kind of person to have such a filthy habit?

I did, though, have that filthy habit and decided not to take offense and rather give her what she needed. I gave her two cigarettes, instead of the one she asked for, saying «So you have one for later as well». I also asked her if she needed a lighter, and then I gave one to her, even after I saw her having one in her crocked and cutended hand. But as she took my cigarettes, I felt one of her fingers touching my thumb and although I didn’t show it out of respect to her, I felt sickly repulsed by that.

Don’t you judge me! You don’t know how she looked and smelled. She smelled of old piss and looked like a alleyway hooker! There is a influenza plague now, if you haven’t heard! So as she left to take her cigarettes, I went to the blue lighten toilet to wash my thumb from sickly whore-piss-druggydrunk smell stain. I washed it good with soap and let in run under running water for quite some time before I felt that the thumb was clean again.

I entered the kiosk again looking over to the clerk and he seemed to smile at me. The smile was not a seller smile or a smile like the one I used but a smile of acknowledgment that I had done something nice for that woman. I smiled shortly back, more out of politeness than that feeling you get when you have done something good. What was that word again? Pride. I did not give a smile of pride. Who knows of pride in the west anyway. It’s all dark, depressing, decadent and dirty. There is no pride left to take, even when your nice to a whore. It’s all bleak and grey like the fall.

Not thinking, but feeling this thoughts, I felt the need for a cigarette myself and I exited the kiosk and went outside to indulge myself too my vice. The weather was fitting for the fall as it had a grey sky, and it was cold as hell. Not the kind of «cold as hell» where there is ice and frost, but the real cold of hell. It’s like its not cold enough for the body to react to it and therefore you start to freeze faster because the cold is snicking it’s way inside you when you look at the dead trees and the black wet asphalt from the rain hours earlier. That’s the real bone chilling cold, because that’s the only cold that reaches your bones unless your dyeing from it.

So I started to freeze instantly, and I lit my cigarette fast so I could enter the heat again. And there she was again; The pissing woman. Circling around me like a vulture. A sickly, pathetic and tragic vulture with a freshly panhandled cigarette in her mouth. The old or young lady closed in on me and I feared the smell would again hunt me, but the smell was gone. Taken from her by the clammy fall air.

I looked at her again with my ambivalent loading pity and wondered how I could reach this woman and help her without being dragged into the mud alongside her. Should I have called the police, or the ambulance to come get her? She was clearly out of it and in great pain. The need and scream for help was there, but I couldn’t do much. This person, I sort of knew, would not find me calling the police or ambulance a way of helping her. I knew, sort of, that the only thing she would perceive as help was money in the hand or a free cigarette in her mouth. Anything else, would be a rude intervention.
So I just stared at her, with that smile that now felt more goofy than anything else and I had nothing to say.

I was at the train station, a place many poets would use as a symbolic place for change and choice. Here there were no change. I was at a train station and so was she, but there were no link between us. She was already dead, and there was nothing I could say. No choice or change that could make a difference. Just a goofy stare of empathy from me, and a blank one from her.

We were standing a few feet away from each other but we were miles away, weren’t we? And she leant towards me, and than she said:
«Thank you»
I said:
«What?»
«Thank you for the cigarette»
«Oh, that’s nothing», I laughed shyly
«No, you saw me and you gave to me» she said looking into the black wet asphalt.
«I just did what anyone else would have done», I said more hopefully than truthfully.

I felt an urge to take my hand on her shoulder and tell her that there were still hope. To hell with her smell! To hell with hygine and personal bounderis. This woman needed my warmth. She was cold on what a poet could claim were more than one way. What the cynic atheist would say didn’t matter because everything is just nothing. No meaning beyond void.

But I didn’t care, I was filled with Godly love. I would care for her! I would…

Anomietopia – Bow down to the rain.

I didn’t touch her, but I said that there were hope. I asked if she needed my help and she said with a low voice «Yes». A voice that gave me associations with a ghost whisper, death by embarrassment and the unknown beyond. I called an ambulance, and it arrived shortly. I gave her my number and demanded from the drives that they would care for her. «Give her the best treatment available», I think I said.

And then they drove away, and I felt pride! A sad, but still very present pride. I had done good! A good deed beyond human definition. It was good because it was good. I knew that God was pleased, and that he loved me. And her. And everyone! From the queer dyeing of aids to the atheist scientist who dedicate their lifeves to post-modern misery. God loved everyone and he had a plan for everyone. A reason for starving children in Africa freshly raped, to the liberal socialist who wanted prayer and hope out of the schools.

THERE WAS LOVE! THERE WAS PEACE! THERE WAS MEANING!

Nah, I’m just kidding.

As she lent towards me, she tried to steal my wallet. I looked at her and asked polity of what she was doing. She looked up at me and moved slowly away. I walked further out into the cold weather of fall and death. Turned too her who was now inside the warmth of the kiosk again. She looked at me, and I looked at her and she said «Ifhn flanatlaus», or some other gibberish, but I understood what she was saying. She said «I wasn’t trying to steal your wallet, but to show you that it was hanging out», but she didn’t have the strength or pride to bother to lie any more. So gibberish was all that she said.

Not Blog 2.0 – Diamond of positivity!

It’s on! (KNAUSGÅRD); Part 2 – Surfaces and covers

12 Aug

Soo…

Ugh! Look at him. Happy like a child who has gotten his will. Notice the brown aura? To me the brown will always be about ''That's just the way it is'', ''Do not judge me!'' and''...''

As all my faithful readers know I am a hater and I hate Karl Ove Knausgård (KNAUSGÅRD!). I made a rant about it earlier, but you knew that right?

Provocative, so it must be art! According to the pamphlet it's ''Self-portrait of Egon Schiele 1911, depicting masturbation.'' Nice, isn't it?

To recap (Previously on AMC…); I went to the city of filth feeling gloomy and thus vomit out my opinions about a man who makes “art” about taboo (KNAUSGÅRD!). What others could call “provocative literature“. Anyway, then a friend challenged me to read his debut novel called «Out of the World». I don’t remember why. BUT I WILL! I’ll show her!

Now… I wouldn’t care about Knausgård (KNAUSGÅRD!) any more than any other pervert if it wasn’t for a public’s declaration of genius. He be the talk of the town. Winning prizes and posing outside of buildings made of concrete looking smug!

Let me tell you a story I heard once, that might be relatebal to the issue at hand. There were two girls I knew that was at a buss-stop when a shabby looking man went behind the glass window of the hut and started “pleasuring himself“? You know… “polishing the bishop“…Hmm? You with?

HE WAS JACKING OFF!

Well I don’t care about that incident. He was probably crazy and the girls was probably dressed provocatively, but… If, say, a person stood beside him and applauded. Telling everybody what “intelligent expressive rebellion of the suppressed Christian sexuality” this was I would probably write a blog about it.

Art! Art! Art! It takes a symbol the ''old greys'' believe is of ''value'', ''importance'' and add a post-modern commercialism iconography. IT'S ART! ''TGIF!'' Wow, that makes me see think things anew!


AND NOW! NOW! NOW! I have gone to the library and borrowed the book. Yes, borrowed. HE WILL NOT EARN A PENNY (øre) from me. NOT A PENNY! So beside me right now lies the book.

…..

The book is big with blue blurry cover that looks like forest or park area with a piece of clothing (perhaps a bra?) hanging from a twig. It’s a hard cover edition, 562 pages long, and weighs what you would expect from a book of that length. The backside gives us a short summary of the plot and then tells us we should expect a “beautiful love story” that could fit in among other authors like Hamsun, Nabokov (I don’t know who he is, but I don’t care either) and Dostoyevsky.

In part 3 I will tell what was inside the book. I would suspect you are just as exited as I am.

Blog 2.0 - May not be art, but hopes to be provocative.

PS: A little bit of exit music to set the mode, and perhaps a little bit of depth to the crazy nonsense:)