Archive | July, 2010

A very short story

29 Jul

We all want what we can’t have“, someone said in a crowd.
Not me!“, another argumented.
It all went on without questions.

Blog 2.0 - Zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse – The film that saved my faith in films.

25 Jul

Poster

Sooo…

As you may or may not know; I have a degree in film (I am a bachelor in more than one way) and so I have seen my fair share of different kinds of movies.

I remember my first year of study. We saw a lot of critically acclaimed and canonical films, important to know and understand as a film-analyst. To understand them historically, stylistically and pretty much dissect them to death for good grades.

Oh, the horror! Many of the films were pompous, long (in length and in sense) and gave great headaches. Few, if any, where relatable and none where entertaining.

So I thought:
Perhaps I shouldn’t study films after all?“. I was going through a crisis! The kind that would make a lousy film but many French directors (aka. auteur) would still make. The personal crisis kind of crisis. The kind where you look in the mirror for a long time, boring yourself and anyone who would watch (Ahh, but the art!).

I had just watched a 3 hour long silent picture about a war long since forgotten. The movie was important since it was the first “Hollywood style picture” and it dragged on and on and on. I wanted to leave, not only the hall where the movie was viewed but college and studies altogether. I had forgotten why I loved films. (Plot point one)

So I walked the rainy streets of the town in my soaked cloak having deep inner monologues about my pain and how the deterministic world could never understand me. I lit a cigarette looking at my reflection in a window, thinking “Qui pourrait comprendre que les femmes?” and also “What should I do?“.

A thunder roared on the hills. A storm was coming and the rain fell louder, stronger, harder than before. It seemed the whole world was melting away. I touched my lips, like any artistic guy would do. You know as a pastiche to that French film who discovered jump-cut. I felt so alone in this world with this profound inner entropy.

But then as a almost symbolic or metaphorical event I looked past my reflection in the window and saw a stack of Resident Evil: Apocalypse DVD’s on the shelf. (Plot point two) Mila fighting Zombies for another round? Perhaps I should rent that one? Give film another chance. So I brought the DVD home with some candy, chips and coke.

I had the BEST TIME! This film was not symbolic, or deep, or long or pretentious, or political, or with great mis-en-scen. IT WAS JUST AN ENTERTAINING FILM ABOUT FANTASY! It was not EXTREME or anything. Just entertaining.

Sooo…
I finished school, with this at heart: Yes, there are great movies out there about real existential problems. But sometimes we want brain candy too. Not every film that is made should be groundbreaking or revolutionary. Sometimes a film about women killing zombies could suffice, cuz sometimes we need to escape the silence too leave that Port of Shadows and just have a film leave us breathless in entertainment. Fuck Adorno! I want to have fun!

ROLL CREDITS.

Blog 2.0 - Starring AndyAce83 as Angry Loner #231

In memory of the people who died in the Love parade

24 Jul

Today 15 people where trampled to death on the Love Parade in Germany.

So in memory:
Dear Jessie, hear the laughter running through the love parade.

It’s a lesson to be learned here. Have your rave parade in your back yard with some friends… And sometimes what you say may have a horrible ironic twist later.

Blog 2.0 - May be an A-hole, but I guess we need those too (?)

Quiz – How they should be!

20 Jul

Wonder and ponder to sunder.

I have been to a couple of quizzes in my life and I have made the following observation; some of them are way to hard!


Let’s take a question I made up by going to wikipedia and finding some obscure knowledge. “Which band was Jerry Dammers founder and keyboard player in?”.

The answer was “The specials“.

Okay, many could perhaps have the answer too that question but you have to have very special knowledge of the specials (hehe?) to know it. And the trouble is that often these kinds of questions are the main type of question. The special knowledge kind.

I always think that a good quiz test all kinds of varying knowledge. What’s easy for some may be hard for others. To put it in an example: The persons having knowledge about The Specials may not have much knowledge of Lady Gaga and vica versa. That’s why one should have a broad spans over different themes, genres and difficulty. Not everybody know the capitol of Polan (Warsaw), but they may know who directed the original Inglorious Bastards (Enzo G. Castellari) etc. etc. etc.

Now for the advanced quiz master there is another level of achievement. The hint within the question. This one is a though one as it demands thought and not just random page in a lexicon.

Here’s an example: Lady Gaga (I’m obsessed by her!) made a song with Beyonce called Telephone. This song was originally made to another singing lady. Who?

Now this is not a great example since I’m not a quiz master (I’m more of a quiz apprentice or quiz novice) but the question has the criteria I am looking for. It has a pop-cultural start and gives hints to people who do not know the answer right away. They still have the ability to guess by the clue “singing lady“. This could be anyone; Ke$ha, Christina Aguilera, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse and so on. The answer was Brittany Spears, and could be easily guessed wrong but the mind doesn’t have to stop if they don’t know the answer.

So that’s my view upon quizzes.
Tell your friends:)

Blog 2.0 - Tells you have you should question things!

I’m a freethinker, but are you? (A check list)

17 Jul

We all know that we are freethinkers and we have the internet to prove it. But sometimes we fear that we may not be freethinkers enough. It is a constant battle to be a individual with strong, concious opinions, so we have to read other peoples blogs that can confirm our knowledge. “Yes“, we think “Ain’t that the truth!” and we feel at ease again. Knowing that we know.

''Am I really thinking freely enough?'', our anxious minds sometimes think. I blame religion!

Unfortunately our animal self has a dark side that it needs to return to, and our self-consciousness becomes clear and aware again. So sometimes we look into the mirror and think; “Am I really the freethinker I think I am?“.

But now you don’t have to fear any more that you are less of a freethinker than anyone else at the party. Now you can say loudly and proudly “I am a freethinker cuz I took a test!” (and of course add where you found it and what clever insightful internet page it was). For free, as all freethinking should be, I give thee a check-list.

————————————-

Click on the image to get a greater size.

RESSULTS:

All “yes”: You are the essence of a freethinker and the central for real knowledge and truth.

Most “yes”: You are nodoubt a freethinker but you have to read some more books by other freethinkers and watch some stand-up comedy about how stupid some people are (i.e George Carlin or Penn Jillette) and remember keep feeling smug.

Most “No”: *Sigh* You are a conservative who probably believes in a talking dead guy in the sky. How stupid are you? Lol! But seriously, I hope you die!

All “No”: Fuck you! I will abort my fetuses as much as I want! I will sodomize who I want. I will do what I want and don’t you JUDGE ME!

Most “Idunno”: It’s okay as long as you keep your mouth shut and don’t ask any questions.

All “Idunno”: Who’s this retard?

Blog 2.0 - Freethink is the future and I wear my sunglasses @ night!

Deep blue sea – Sharks and surprises

15 Jul

The Poster for the Movie

Now…

No one can say that I work hard to be current and news oriented in my blog. I write about things that effect me and now I just remembered the movie Deep Blue Sea.

That’s a great movie.

It’s not great as in “original” like Jaws (1975), or great as an epic masterpiece like Gone with the wind (1939) or great as in incomprehensible art movie like Fellini’s 8 1/2 (1963).

It’s great in being stupid entertainment that isn’t all that bad.

The reasons why AMC gives this movie two thumbs up are as follows:

1) It’s short and to the point.

According to IMDB.com the length of the movie is 105 min and that’s seems about right. That gives enough time to introduce the characters, making them sympathetic or unsympathetic and then letting them get killed one by one.

2) The characters may be generic, but not completely unbelievably cardboard-y

Yes, you have the mad scientist, but she isn’t all that mad. And we have two black guys talking street but they aren’t annoyingly stereotypical. The characters work for their purpose. They seem real enough to be eaten.

3) The twists and turns surprises you (or at least me).

So the plot isn’t a dream, or there isn’t a great political sub-plot here in a realistic social-economic backdropping. The killer isn’t revealed at the last minute or they turn out to be ghosts but the sharks is ugly and mean and he really is hungry.

4) The editing isn’t made by a brain-dead teen with ADD on coke.

Okay, I got no proof of that, but if it was edited by a brain-dead teen with ADD on coke you wouldn’t notice it.

5) It may not be realistic, but at least they are trying.

Films on this side of the millennium have lost this point; “To try to be convincing“.
They go more for; “Accept it cuz you have paid for it! And there isn’t one creative person in Hollywood who have read a book or isn’t smoking weed. And we know you haven’t read a book either (at least not one that isn’t about vampires that glow, or nerd with scars on their forheads) and you are probably smoking weed while you watching so… you know it’s all good. It’s moving pictures with CGI, bitch, so you better not complain!.”

6) It’s made by people older than me.

*Sigh*

Blog 2.0 - Never stays current as it always goes against the flow. ALWAYS!

Age Hierarchy (Smells Like Teen Spirit)

14 Jul

TELL'EM ANGRY TEEN

Wisdom comes with age, but you never knew as much as when you where fourteen.

Hello again fellow human:)

Today I would like to write about a term I made myself, but probably others have used it before me. I call it AGE HIERARCHY.

As I’m writing this I’m sitting outside in the sun with a child by my side. And it’s making a horrible noise. Talking all kinds of nonsense. I want to tell it to shut the f**k up but it’s parents are close by.

Anyway…

Apart from being a social monster
, I also like to philosophise about all kinds of stuff. Sometimes I think about the validities of proverbs, sometimes I think about the things no answers will come from, and sometimes I think about culture, state of affairs and besserwissers with a political motive lecturing me on what’s right and what’s wrong.

In the west their is all kinds of know-it-alls. There are the humanist, atheist, the liberal, the conservative, the pro-con-gay-abortion movements, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc.

But there is a subgroup of people more know-it-all (almost omnipotent), more patronizing, more aggressive and more lecturing than all kinds of other sub-groups. Yes, you do smell the teen spirit. I’m talking about the know-it-all, young whipper snapper who just learned something at school their parents, friends or society in general should know and be told about.

SHUT UP IGNORANT TEEN! LESS TALKIE MORE LISTENING!

Now there is another (perhaps new?) -ism that has arrived and it’s called ageism. If someone says “I call ageism on that” you better shut your mouth! But I have always been lousy at shutting my mouth so hear I go!

Teens are by nature stupid. They are emotional (not necessary a bad thing, but in this context it is), they are over-sexual, ignorant and (in the west of the west) SPOILED AS HELL!

They are the once that should be told a thing or two not old guys and gurlz.

So I invented (applaud me!) the term Age Hierarchy which is an euphemism for ageism. The older you are, the more you know and the more valuable you are to society! This of course until senility strikes and your back in your childhood and at the bottom of the ladder again.

I hope it will catch on…
If not…
Oh, well, whatever, nevermind.

Blog 2.0 - Bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend


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The sound of this entry could be:

The Trouble with «Jimmy Jump» the Retarded Gnome.

13 Jul

(With no offence to the mentally handicapped/challenged/whatever of course).

Sooo….

As I have written before; I hate writing about current affairs as it feels like gossiping. I also hate to gossip about unimportant, soon to be forgotten people as I feel I keep alive someone who should be dead. Many people strive for attention from bloggers and other people with nothing better to do and this goes for «Jimmy Jump» the Retarded Gnome.

LOL! It's funny because... I dunno.

Normally I would not acknowledge this brain-dead narcissist populist anarchist as he is just a pain in the ass that feeds on people being sour, grumpy and rigid.

When we say “Idiot“, he thinks “They don’t understand my statement about blahblahblah.

Now I don’t know why he does it, nor do I care. I don’t even care that he does it as it seems harmless enough. He just takes a “Kanye” by interrupting for attention. Like a child or a drunk at a wedding.

The Trouble with «Jimmy Jump» the Retarded Gnome is not what he does but what the consequences for it is. Every time we have a terrorist attack, a drunk on the plane or a “funny” stunt person there is an decrease in our liberties.

Here’s another example of this:
The Super bowl wardrobe “mishap”.

Oh, no! A teat! What will the male gay community say!

I did not see this stunt as 1) I don’t care about sports and 2) I do not care about American football half-time shows either. But I sure got to hear about this half-time show. Oh, the humanity!

Soo…

Did this stunt provoke me?
No of course not“, you probably think.
AndyAce83 has seen a breast or two before. He may even a touched one as the worldly man that he is. He wouldn’t be offended by watching a natural beautiful thing.”

But the answer is:
HELL YEAH! I was provoked!

Not because I got to see a breast, but because it was RETARDED! Why should I be forced to fill Janet Jacksons exhibitionist needs? Couldn’t she just pole-dance at a Cat-R-Ho strip-joint?

But I digress, because my embarrassment over that nonsense is my own, and should not be anyone else’s problems. There where probably lot’s of people who found it funny (even I when I just heard about it. But don’t tell anyone!) and may even have have thought it a provocative statement about female sexuality (Not me!) or something like that. We can all find meanings in thrash cans.

(Insightful rant continues below the picture)

Lol.''Take that Society! I am dancing on ESC!''

But that is not the point either! The point is the consequence. And do you know the consequence of that “hilarious” flashing? INCREASED CENSORSHIP and thus DECREASED LIBERTIES!

And that’s just one side of it. Jimmy Jump’s fun run to nowhere will probably increase security on all great events with more security guards, perhaps armed and with broader licenses etc.

But that’s a good thing, right?“, you may think. “Jimmy Jump is just testing how secure we are. That’s where he be a genius, isn’t it?

NOOO!

Listen… Security is important for people with angst and most of us have it. But we shouldn’t let it run our lives. Obama once came to Oslo to get an award for winning the election. Now President Obama is an important person, and important people get enemies.

So Oslo needed security!

Security in knowing that someone is aiming his or her rifle at you. Just to be on the safe side. (Picture taken by Smidth)

There where snipers on the roofs, there where helicopters in the sky, armed policemen and probably lot’s more I didn’t noticed. It seemed like Oslo was under siege. And why? Because the US president was about to get an award for winning an election! I WAS SCARED! Every time I went in my pocket for my mobile phone I was afraid I would seem suspicious and get shot. THAT’S THE CONSEQUENCE OF TO MUCH SECURITY! WE GET MORE SCARED!

So in conclusion:
Jimmy Jump is not funny (unless you find rude spoiled children funny) but he is dangerous. Not dangerous like an angry Mullah with brainwashed followers or a charismatic leader telling us we need restrictions for safety, but dangerous like the braindead patient with an infectious decease that takes away all our resources we could have used on dangerous Mullahs and charismatic despots.

Blog 2.0 - Is not an attention junkie but thanks you for reading me:)

Like some heroin…

8 Jul

Patti Smith. A woman. She is benediction and the root connection. She is connecting with me. Because Jesus died for someone’s sin but not mine. The words are just rules and regulations to me. ME!

I was just walking down a hallway, drinking a cup of tea when suddenly a rhythm was generating from somewhere. Then something happened, and then I was surrounded by horses.

And on one of the horses was Patti Smith. She started to laugh hysterically. I danced barefoot.

But in the sheets I discovered I was dancing around to a simple rock ‘n roll song.

Blog 2.0 - actually I've watched you for a long time.

AMC Dessert/Encore:
The empty hand of innocence
Transfusing street of the sorrows
And children of the wood
Hounded, shredding off veils
Unwinding all the sheets of the dead world droning
Overturning tables
Laden with silver sacrificial birds
Beating goatskin drums
Advancing With hands outstretched
And we keep filling them with mercury
Nitrate, asbestos
Baby bombs blasting blue


Scavengers picking through the ashes
Children of the mills
Children of the junkyards
Sleepy, illiterate, fuzzy little rats
Haunted, paint-sniffing
Stoned out of their shaved heads
Forgotten, foraging
Mystical children
Foul-mouthed
Glassy-eyed
Hallucinating