Archive | December, 2009

Social Porn vs Porn 2.0 (“…and a happy New Year”)

28 Dec

Dear Internet,

Many of my readers have written to me and said that they were searching for regular porn when they found my blog, since there has risen another kind of “social porn”; The “penetrating of the ass” kind of porn and not my original definition.

You see the internet is constantly evolving for more easy free access to copyrighted material. Even porn! And now, just like youtube, there are user generated porn sites. Wow, how about that?

They call it Porn 2.0 (it’s a play on web 2.0. Get it?) but they also call it Social Porn, since it has social networking site functions, since everybody can fuck each other, upload afterwards and rate each others performances. Yes, the world is making great progress in every department.

I just want to clear up the difference between “social porn”-porn and my kind of “social porn”.
.THERE ARE NO REAL DIFFERENCES!
It’s all about moral degradation and shallowing human emotions, be that sexual (formerly known as; love etc.) or otherwise. So yes, there you have it.

Have a great New Year with lots of free wanks on the web for everyone:)

PS: I was originally going to write about the work of humanism in 2010. But free porn is more important than naive belief in science, rationality and humans (aka. hairless monkeys). But I made this picture I wanted to show you. It was really good, I think. So I’ve added it here anyway. No need to thank me. I’m a giver.



Happy Humans. Yeah, there's hope.

We wish you a merry X-Mas (and a Happy *bleep* you)

19 Dec

This is a very special Christmas Rant.

A very special Christmas rant.

I was going to rant about humanism and x-mas and how it will bring upon the end of the world or something. How they could find their own god damn holiday. How they could celebrate economy day or Day of Carnal Knowledge or something. But I can’t be bothered with it. Let them have their views. I don’t care any more.

I’m tiered of listening to the ever growing discontentment for institutional religion. How they moan and complain all the time about how they are allergic to holy symbols and just want Santa for Christmas… sorry X-mas. Nah.

I want to talk about the joys of Christmas. How the children play in the snow, the lovely food, the music, the excitement for what’s to come that don’t die unless you want it to. How this holiday brings out the best in us all, or at least most of us.

Yes, everyday we should be like we are at Christmas. We shouldn’t need one day to be nice to others, a negative Nancy would say. Perhaps adding how the Christmas has become a commercial buyers feast (not the Christians fault mind you!). But I just sip at my cider next to my fireplace, locking all those humanist idiots outside with a good book. The holy one… no I’m kidding. Perhaps watching something naive and idealistic on television without, for once, giving a snarl. It’s the season to be jolly after all!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Even humanists, atheist and Richard Dawkin can rest now. Let the Christmas spirit ring!

God bless Us, Every One!

PS:

This is my favourite Christmas carol. I really find it soothing. There are better versions but, you know, it has karaoke text under and it’s cute children who sing. Only the Grinch would not be moved. Strike that; he to would be moved!

Let’s talk about physical and mental intimacy («The future so bright that I have to wear shades!»)

11 Dec

Chronic remorse, as all the moralist are agreed, is the most undesired sentiments. Let’s kill remorse, as it rains on our parades. The children are now writing in their blogs about their one-night-stands and adults tell children what to do when their one-night-stands take a turn for the worse. Everything is as it should be. Who are we to disagree?
Well there is a cool way to live and their is a boring way to live. No one wants to live the lather. So let’s define the cool one. By putting my finger in the ground I have come to the following conclusion; The cool life is living large (aka. decadent or promiscuous) and telling others about living large so they can be admired for their fun and exciting life styles. What the children don’t know, is that what they do are right and their in right to do so. Even if it’s just a coincidence, as many children believe they are rebelling, but what the children of the future are working towards is community, identity, stability.
We are closing in on the Age of Aquarius. In this future age things will go great and things will only be getting better. Everyone will belong to everyone else without fear of consequence. The best part is that there will be no ugly people with low self-esteem and we can all use our bodies to experiment with our sexuality. The children are our future and they are working hard for this new world as we speak.
To achieve this state of sex and drugs we have to kill two things. Our physical and mental intimacy. As we all know intimacy in any form is the same as bound and boundaries. Not a good thing. We have to work hard for our own liberation, and I will now tell you how to kill any signs of these elements.
First we have to kill God and any other idealism based in tradition and norms. That’s a check! God have been dead quite a while now, did anyone miss him? NO! Norms and traditions are sighing their last breath. It’s a wonderful thing to see old conservatism die. It’s like watching Hitler being tortured.
Secondly we have to kill the physical intimacy. That involves removing the illusion that humans are monogamist by nature. Because as we see in nature, we are not! Then remove any illusion of sexual moral that follows this view of monogamy. In other words, «we only judge those who judge».
If a person is gay, and proud of it, then why shouldn’t he? If he then can tell us that he has fucked 1000 males and some woman as well, we should all be condoning this great way of expressing oneself. If they are lesbian we should go on as we always have done; not care one way or the other.
The nuclear family, also an illusion as it bases itself on the same lies of humans being monogamous (see above) has already exploded. And soon it to will be dead, spread for the winds like the sperm of a whore master. Anyone who hasn’t fucked out of marriage is not a hero or a true human being, but a cowardly looser. Say it with me; people who do not randomly fuck people is a weird LOOSER! It’s doesn’t give nature enough variation.
So the new normal, but most importantly, natural family constellation involves my children, your children and our children. This gives humanity enough variation so that we can survive pandemics etc.
«But children is a drag?», you may say. And yes you are right. Children is our pride and joy, and we all want them, but only if they don’t destroy our sexual adventures and our carers. We have sex for joy and children is just an unnecessary consequence. That is why we should work on making the children not «yours, mine and ours», but the STATES.
In Norway we have made great progress on that part, where the children has the right to kindergarten and the normative changes that follow. If a child is not in kindergarten from the age of one until forever then something is wrong and the child will have social restrictions. As we all know, «introverted behaviour is anti-social behaviour» and «everybody should be happy nowadays». «Was and will make me ill, I take a chill-pill and only am». That’s the solution to all our problems.
So now that we have killed the physical intimacy, we should learn how to kill the mental intimacy. We have done alot of work on that part already. By breaking the bond between parents and children an unimportant strain has been broken. If children believe in family value then they soon will think that some things should be in the family. This contradicts one of our most important slogans; «Private is Political». If government do not know what happens inside a family then they can not control it and if they can not control it then we have anarchy. Which is great, as long as it’s controlled anarchy.
But there is also another mental intimacy that has to be broken; the friendship! Friendship as we all know is how we use other people to kill time, and allies when we need help. To believe that there is something more behind would be absurd, even vulgar. A former friend of mine defined friendship as «love without sex». How stupid is that. That’s just nasty, because as we all know «there is no love, where there is no sex».
«A friend to all is a friend to all», should be on all our minds. To build friendship in a small group creates a sub-culture and does not play a part in society. Society is everyone, not just 2-3 people, and therefore it’s important to be good and kind to everyone.
Luckily technology has developed a great way to do just that. Now we can be friends with everyone on the internet. I myself has over a thousand friends on facebook, on myspace even more. That should be the ideal for everyone! Many friends means many choices. Many choices gives life meaning.We are all friends and family after all. One big global community.
Then there is the blogs. Children can now befriend each other and write to each other without restriction. Which is great, because as we all know, «truth lies in the eyes of a child» and «sixty-two thousand four hundred repetitions make one truth». Who hasn’t been moved by children crying for the environment or schools being closed or their friends being deported out of the country. THEY KNOW, and we should listen.
Their blogs are about life. Raw life. They write about products we all need. I do love new clothes, because the more stitches, the less riches. And they write about sex. We all love sex and we can all read about it. Everyone’s opinion can be read by everyone else, and everyone’s opinion is important. At least when they take a stand against global warming, discrimination and restriction. It’s the dynamic democracy of the web and as we all know: «Progress is lovely».
We can and will not question progress! Look at the people who questioned smoking being band, look how long their faces are now. They learned to keep their mouth shout, because a leader needs to make unpopular decisions sometimes or else progress will stop. The children knows. We should not fare this new technology, but embrace it. Let our children run free and let them find out for them self how lovely everything is. We are all happy now. In the future you will have no choice but to be happy. Great!

The Secret is: be happy, always:)

10 things you didn’t know about Megan Fox (“We are all made of stars”)

5 Dec

You'd hit that, right?

According to The New Thought Movement I have failed, but enough about me, let’s talk about Megan Fox. Here is a few fun facts about Megan Fox that you probably didn’t know.

1.) Megan is actually a redhead, as you can see in childhood pictures from the International Herald Tribune

2.) She is proficient in 5 languages, where she speaks fluently in 3 and 2 languages she can be made understood. At least that what she said on Letterman.

3.) Has two Emmy’s nominations from her guest appearance on 7th heaven.

4.) Megan is not bi-sexual, but bi-curious. The difference is that she is attracted, but falls not in love with same sex according to the New York Times.

5.) Her favourite singer-songwriter is Kate Perry (but she wishes she was called Kate Bush) and her favourite song is “I kissed a girl”. In the Saudi Health News she claims that that song made “me realize my [bi-curious nature*] (direct translation; harlot-decease)” (*My translation)

6.) Megan’s first acting experience was telling her psychiatrist that her bruises was not from domestic disturbance but from her being clumsy, as she told in a interview with Empire Magazine.

7.) She has a tattoo on her ass of something to remind her of something according to Inked.

8.) Her mother claims to have been abducted by aliens on September 10, 1993 while she watched Fox television. An in-depth interview about this encounter can be read in Le Monde diplomatique

9.) Megan Fox is currently dating the writer of this blog, and she says “I have never had greater sex in my life. It’s like rough fu**ing and sensitive lovemaking made possible in the most unstrengtious [sic] way. I don’t know how I had sex before. It’s like that song “Like a virgin” you know? Now I understand that song. I mean I really, really understand that song.” to the Financial Times Deutschland.

10.) Megan Fox hasn’t enough self-insight to know many of these fun facts and will claim them to be wrong if confronted by them. SO DON’T! This is between you and me.